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Strategies After Facing Possible Death.

Writer: Amy Haertel
Amy Haertel
Mar 28
2 min read

Many transplant recipients or people that have experienced medical trauma have had to face the possibility of death in a very direct way. Some people have prepared wills or had conversations with loved ones about what might happen if they did not survive. Others have spent long periods living with uncertainty about their health and their future. Surviving can bring relief but also emotional aftershocks. Some people describe feeling more aware of how fragile life can be, while others feel sadness when they reflect on everything they lost during illness, including time, health, or parts of the life they had before. It is entirely possible to feel grateful to be alive and still be processing the emotional weight of the experience.


Strategies after facing possible death:


A helpful idea from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy is that two emotional truths can exist at the same time. Instead of believing that gratitude should cancel out sadness, people can begin to recognize that both emotions can exist together. Someone might feel grateful for their transplant or medical recovery and still feel overwhelmed by everything their body and life went through. When people allow these emotions to coexist, it often reduces the pressure to feel a certain way and makes emotional healing easier.


Self-compassion is also an important part of emotional recovery after transplant. Many recipients are surprisingly hard on themselves and may think things like “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I should just be grateful.” A helpful shift is changing the question from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me?” When we approach our experiences with curiosity and understanding instead of criticism, emotions become easier to process and integrate.


If you have experienced complicated emotions after medical trauma, you are not alone. Many feel gratitude alongside fear, sadness, grief, or uncertainty. These emotions are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are part of integrating a profound life experience. You don’t have to choose between gratitude and grief. Both can belong in the story of surviving.


If you would like to learn more check out this YouTube video where I discuss holding multiple emotions during and after medical trauma. This video speaks to organ transplant specifically but is helpful for anyone managing crisis in the medical model.


 
 
 

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